Pride In Family..

July 29, 2016

Jaimie Rogers Editor in Chief

     Hey Ya'll!
Boy I tell you I'm all in my feelings this week.
As I wind down another week, I found myself uberly productive this morning.
Two years ago I got a bag of jewelry from my family members. Some was supposed to be some of my Aunts jewelry, while the rest was supposed to be my Mamaws.
After these past two I finally was ready to go through it a few weeks ago. Searching through the bags I found a ring that I'm almost positive was my Mamaws seeing as how it was a red jewel.
Its not real. It's small and dainty, but somewhere deep down I just know it was hers.
Looking at it for the first time I could almost cry. It had been through hell. bent up, misshapen, the jewel just about ready to fall off. I put it in my jewelry box just sitting there for two weeks until I could get it fix. Until this morning, when I took another look at the ring that I knew in my heart was hers. I had some redneck rigging, but I fixed it. Carefully, and tediously bending it back into a circle.

I was a month old when my Mamaw passed. All I have of her are told stories through my Papaw, and parents. She only held me a handful of times before her time with us was through, but I am told she was very proud of me. Telling everyone about her newborn granddaughter. From all the stories and people I have met that knew her, I know she was an amazing woman. She left her trail of love and caring with everyone she knew.
This time of year is always a mixture of longing, pride, and happiness. I long to know her, to feel the love she had. Yet am happy and proud to know I have such an amazing guardian angel all these years, and for the years to come.
Today I have a finished piece on my finger. Just in time for my birthday. Something I feel is special in memory of her.
I have hope for the coming year 25 of my life.
I hope to make her proud, to have peace knowing she's here with me.

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When Life Trys To Knock You Down

July 25, 2016

Jaimie Rogers Editor in Chief
Life lately.....
My life lately has been a whirlwind of emotions. I've been learning to deal with my new normal, and trying to figure out how to persevere through all the new challenges that we have come to face.
I'm sure on the outside I look like I've got it down. Even though yoga pants and t-shirts have become my go-to and the no makeup, un-brushed hair look is on point and all. I think to other people I look like I mentally got this down..
Well... News flash.. NOPE!
 It took me 8 months to even start coping, and even now I'm struggling with my anger, and stress as we jump into this new school year.
Now adding into everything a family member is not doing so great, and the anxiety about when that time will come sits pretty close to the fore-front of my mind.
I just can't bring myself to understand why this keeps happening. What lessons are we supposed to learn from all this. I feel like I live in shit-ville where everything happens back to back to back, and there's nothing you can do to stop it.
My birthday is next week, and I'm literally like waiting for the bad to happen.. I feel almost cursed.
The only thing that literally has never happened to me is a car accident, but I feel like that's only a matter of time too. In the past year alone I've had a lot of close calls, and I kid you not only one was my fault, but I corrected quick enough to avoid.
I just wanna sit at home and eat chinese food, and sushi all day while binge watching netflix in my bed alone.
I have kids though and they depend on me.
I want to be happy and grateful and blessed, but life right now is making that super hard.
I think I just need a good corona and food.
Here's to hoping at some point soon, a purpose evolves.
Maybe we are phoenix's, and we just have to give ourselves time to rise from the ashes.
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